have you ever read a book that made you feel like someone looked deep into the most hidden parts of your soul and said: ‘ok, i got you. let me write a book just for you.’?
no, me either. until now. i have never read a book quite like this one.
i’m talking about katherine morgan schafler’s ‘the perfectionist’s guide to losing control’. and of course she didn’t write that book just for me. we’ve never even met and i didn’t even know who she was before i picked up her book.
that she was still able to speak to my soul by writing with such precision is a testament to how universal some experiences are. which is both comforting and somewhat bewildering.
but let’s get into the thick of it. turns out the problem with perfectionism is not perfectionism per se, but rather how you live it. you can express it in a healthy way (then you are an adaptive perfectionist) or unhealthy way (as do maladaptive perfectionists).
the difference – disclaimer: this is a very oversimplified version of the book’s premise – is whether you are looking to factors outside of you for validation or whether you look into yourself for validation. which is the way to go.
sounds simple enough. if it weren’t for these pesky little things called societal norms and expectations. but schafler details a trove of helpful techniques and strategies that will help you get there.
this book was a very emotional read for me. it made me cry (a lot). it touched quite a few tender spots, but it also made me feel relieved and joyful and hopeful and open and very much alive.
another one of the many strengths of this unique read is its laser-sharp, straight to the point writing. it’s got just the right amount of dry humour that is a lot like the pinch of salt in the perfect (pun intended) chocolate chip cookie. it elevates the whole thing to perfection.
in short, if your perfectionism is something you’ve struggled with i can only recommend this deeply affirming, feel good rollercoaster of a read. i still can’t quite believe it exists but i am very grateful that it does.
