have you ever read a book that made you feel like someone looked deep into the most hidden parts of your soul and said, “ok, i got you. let me write a book just for you”?
no? me either. until now. i have never read a book quite like this one.
i’m talking about katherine morgan schafler’s ‘the perfectionist’s guide to losing control’. of course, she didn’t write this book just for me—we’ve never even met, and i didn’t even know who she was before i picked it up.
that she was still able to speak to my soul with such precision is a testament to how universal some experiences are. which is both comforting and somewhat bewildering.
but let’s get into it. turns out, the problem with perfectionism isn’t perfectionism per se but rather how you live it. you can express it in a healthy way (then you’re an adaptive perfectionist) or an unhealthy way (as do maladaptive perfectionists).
the difference—disclaimer: this is a very oversimplified version of the book’s premise—is whether you look outside yourself for validation or within yourself. the latter is the way to go.
sounds simple enough. if it weren’t for these pesky little things called societal norms and expectations. but schafler offers a trove of helpful techniques and strategies to help you get there.
this book was an emotional read for me. it made me cry (a lot). it touched quite a few tender spots, but it also made me feel relieved and joyful and hopeful and open and very much alive.
another strength of this unique read is its laser-sharp, straight-to-the-point writing. it’s got just the right amount of dry humour—like the pinch of salt in the perfect (pun intended) chocolate chip cookie. it elevates the whole thing.
in short, if perfectionism is something you’ve struggled with, i can only recommend this deeply affirming, feel-good rollercoaster of a read. i still can’t quite believe it exists, but i’m very grateful that it does.
